No Snakes on My Plane!

A Plane's Paradise (Sung to the tune of Gangsta's Paradise)

To the right is the alley, exit is on the left,
I take a look outside and realize that I'm on a jet.
But that's just the way it goes for a hero like me
Save a girl at 10 and be home at 5:30.
At 200 knots, I'm flying now,
For 14 hours and there's been no chow (fool).
And I've been flyin' and waitin' so long,
That even Abe Lincoln thinks that somethin' is wrong.
I'm a man who can't stand,
I feel like a simpleton.
Arms spilled to the aisle,
And seat jabs me in my shin.
child I ain't, so please get me another chair, I'm just prayin' we get there.

Been spending most my flight,
Ignored like I'm some flipping poor blind mice.
I've pushed the call button once or twice,
nobody ever got me any rice,
Seat's squeezing me like a vise
Hoping the pilot hears my cries
Highway robbery at this price
Payin' 40 dollars for a slice.

The pilot before boarding, came to me to greet
I smiled at him, as he promised that my flight, would be so sweet
I don't really care, though I keep ringin' my bell
He's probably laughin' at me, it makes me want to yell.
but I ain't flown first class, so I shouldn't throw a fit
A hero who is rude? We know to share the love.
I got no carryons, and I think I saw a rat,
And my roomies agree, the soda pop here is really flat (fool).
This place I won't revist, I'd rather be mauled by a bear,
They haven't even offered me their wares.

There' no men, no girls, it's so bizzare,
Not a single mother to be.
Like Tom Hanks in Toy Story, I feel so lonely as can be

Been spending most my flight,
Ignored like I'm some poor blind mice.
I'm goin' crazy, as I sigh
Sittin' in this airborn private flight
Nobody's here I realize,
I'm kinda' fearin' for my life
But I'll stifle all my cries
Sittin' in this airborn private flight

Goin' in for landing,
the pilot starts demanding.
Raised a lot of hoopla,
Prayers I start ta handing.
Think I left my stomach,
Pretty sure this plane stopped my heart.
Even though I know I'm a million times stronger than they are.
I'm the kind of guy every man wants to be like,
High in the sky, catching bullets and stopping knives.
But don't get me wrong, or think me whiny,
Because I think my chance of survivin' this is tiny.

Been spending most this flight,
Ignored like I'm some poor blind mice.
I'm goin' crazy, as I sigh
Sittin' in this airborn private flight
Nobody's here I realize,
I'm kinda' fearin' for my life
But I'll stifle all my cries
Sittin' in this airborn private flight